Clean Eating Reset Day 20
Can I say that I am sort of nostalgic for the days that I use to lay around and snack. I kind of miss those rainy days watching mindless tv and snacking on mindless food. Is that weird? I mean, I do love the way my body is feeling. I do love the energy. I do love the NO bloat. The mental clarity it has given me is priceless. So, why am I feeling kind....indifferent about my relationship with food now?
I am watching this show last night, comedy. He is going on and on about American's not caring about their health. (not all Americans- but you know) And instead of laughing at his jokes I am sad. I am sad that people are not understanding the effects that JUNK food has on them. Junk food JUNK MIND! I know it, I lived it people! I was there!!!
Why I feel indifferent? I will tell you. I don't want to know all of this information sometimes. Sometimes, I just want to NOT care. Sometimes I wish my passion was not my purpose in life. I wish I could just stay naive to everything and not care and not listen. Sometimes I just want to be able to numb my thoughts on this subject. This is not as easy as you think. I wish I would not get so upset when I hear that an 8 year old has diabetes, or when I see people taking SO many pills to put a bandaid on what could maybe be cured by changing their diet. I wish I didn't know all of this somedays. I wish I would not get so vested and care SO much. I think the reason I do though is because I was in that place, that space where I was depressed and unhealthy and just blah for many years. I know a lot of it had to do with what I ate and my inactivity.
I may have days that I feel indifferent about this purpose/passion of mine. I know people dodge me sometimes because they don't want to hear it. But, if I can be real here, our purpose in life is not always going to be easy. People are not always going to embrace what your sharing. A lot of people are scared to hear and know the facts, I get it. It will not stop me though. I will press on per the usual. I will have days of doubt and of fear but if you and I are living our most authentic selves out then that is all we can really do. Maybe one day we will change a life and then it was all worth it. RIGHT?
Food was good today. Meal one was Shakeology and Oats (oats are not in the book for week 3 on the cleanse but I needed the cals and carbs.) Meal two was this cabbage stir fry I made up with this yum yum sauce I created (recipes will be coming). Meal three was super late last night, a mix of peas, vegetables and and some avocado and hummus with beans and quinoa. Weight 138lb. Down 10 lbs. Cheers to ONE MORE DAY!!