Giving all 235lbs of me some GRACE!
Warning: vulnerable post ahead....
I am watching old videos of when I was pregnant with the boys. I am unrecognizable to my children. I am looking into this strangers eyes thinking, you poor thing. I remember not being able to breathe when I went up a flight of stairs,I remember being SO uncomfortable weighing in at 235 lbs. I remember being on bed rest for 7 weeks and almost becoming a little depressed. I was borderline diabetic and the most unhealthy I have ever been in my life. I was pregnant, yes. I was not healthy though. I went over board eating and way over board lounging around. I was so nervous I would hurt the babies by doing anything active at all. I gave into all the foods that sounded good, there were no limits. Fried food, ordering out, ice cream daily, in line at Culver’s at 10 am..I have a clear memory on how important food was to me. It was all I had those weeks that I went into hiding. I barely talked to anyone and I, ME, did not even have social media accounts! I was a hermit living in my own hermit world with Kevin and the pups. That first pregnancy was the toughest one. Looking back though, I am thinking, I SHOULD HAVE gave myself more grace. I should have not been so worried about the weight. It was not healthy, I know but it was only for a few short months and then it was over. I was on the saddle to health almost immediately after they came out of me! Looking back I just wish I would not have wished it away so fast, I should have enjoyed it all a little more, I should have embraced it all, the good the bad and the ugly. I was SO hard on myself, SO HARD....I look at her now with sympathy. I see in her eyes how bad she was struggling and how much pain she was in, physically and emotionally. We were excited fo the babies but i was too worried about everything that could go wrong I didn’t even take a minute to just enjoy it. I should have thanked my body every single day for making these beautiful beings instead of worrying about how much weight I gained. ❤️Momma, if this is you....give yourself grace...if this is you now, pregnant and craving every carb loaded dinner out there- have it... ❤️if this is you just having a baby and in that postpartum phase please let the only baby weight your thinking about be the one that came out of that beautiful momma body, ❤️if this is you momma that are so tired you couldn’t even thinking of adding another thing to your life- like a workout- then just don’t...you have the REST OF YOUR LIFE to get your fit on...FOR NOW - TRUST ME when I say.... 😘EJOY these days and every single day my sweet sister...wake up and say THANK YOU BODY for DOING WHAT YOU DO—-It is all a miracle that goes by in a blink. I have my body back and it does feel great but I would go back to those days in a heartbeat...I really would-