😎Mom of the Year??🤔
I have had SO many reservations about publishing this book. I have had days and nights where I worry about if I just sound like a mom who wants to be heard and that I have no real business in writing a book. I have wanted to quit a million times. I don’t want to feel humiliated that this is just a glorified journal. Why would anyone want to read about my life anyway? I think that every single day. What is so special about me and my thoughts and my writing? I am not a writer for goodness sake. I am a hairdresser. I am a mom. I am a wife. A writer though? Aspiring maybe? So many times I was feeling held back. So many times that I doubted myself and this journey. THEN out of nowhere I would get a little feed of hope instilled.
I once wanted to quit then got a gig writing for my local paper. That gave me hope. I once wanted to quit and my sweet editor messaged me that she was loving it. -Hope I once wanted to quit and I got an interview with a local magazine. -Hope I once wanted to quit and I had a dream I wrote a best seller with hot pink pages, lol! -Hope
What I am saying to you is that I too have wanted to quit my dreams. I have thought I am not good enough or not worth it. I have been mocked on several SEVERAL occasions by people. They say I think I am famous because I do a free article in the local paper and for the local news. It can hurt to be mocked on a dream that you think serious about.
I have times where I wake up and just want to hide because I feel like a fool chasing a dream in my almost 40’s. Who does that anyway? Who can really start a new, successful career in their late 30’s all while being a mom? And why would I not just back down and quit after being made fun of on the daily? I guess because I found that this makes me happy and complete in finding my passion and if no one else see’s it or cares about it or can believe in it I am okay with it. I finally realize that I found something that fills me. It took years to quiet my mind and listen to my heart.
Becoming a stay at home mom slowed me way down and grounded me to have time to really THINK about who I am and WHAT my PURPOSE is. I don’t need anyone else’s approval. For the first time in my life I am living for ME and MY OWN APPROVAL of what I am doing and becoming. I am having FUN with this. I am loving the excitement of dreaming and of having hope that something will come of it all. I have decided that if nothing happens, if the book never gets published or sold, I have decided that I loved every step of creating it and honestly it will be a great keep sake for my children to look back on and see that their momma was strong in her dreams and had a vision that she didn’t give up on. She had hope in all her days, even on the days she didn’t. She loved them endlessly and all of her motives were to better their life. She was independent and dreamed big. She loved people and helping them. She was real and authentic in everything she did. She showed grace on herself and others the best she knew how. She was insanely grateful for and dedicated to the year’s at home with her children but never lost herself Momming It!