Updated: Mar 26, 2019
Self doubt….SELF……Freaking…..DOUBT…Anyone have it? Anyone struggle with it? I have felt over the years SO much self doubt on so many levels in my life. I have always had this doubt or some could call insecurity to be more blunt. I have had times where I have doubted myself and my decisions so much that I would constantly be asking others opinions on what they thought about things or what they think I should be doing. Really though it is not up to them is it? Why do we constantly seek approval of others to validate what we are doing?
I was totally nailing it guys.. I was totally nailing this mom, wife, hairstylist and coach thing last week. Last Friday night as I laid my head down to rest I thought- wow—this is getting easier….. My schedule is full of great clients my next challenge group is pretty much full—I had the most productive day with the kids and had an amazing dinner ready for Kevin—laundry caught up and cleaning done! Yes!!! I went to bed and slept great!! Then, right when you feel like your just doing great things, BOOM it all crashes down and you feel like you literally are AWFUL at everything in this life! Like, I totally suck at momming- wifing- styling- coaching- you name it Saturday night I was feeling like a failure! Ever happen to you? Ever feel like you are at the top only to have it all crashing down in a matter of hours? Saturday I woke up late got to work barely on time- was doing great things then had an unhappy customer—I HATE THAT!! I want to be good at everything. Then I got home to have the house that I cleaned all week a mess and the kids were all screaming at the same time—I had nothing ready for dinner and we were all starving. I was tired and cranky from my workday—so what did I do?? I gave into temptation….. I ate like total crap and cried…. I am not exactly sure I can even pinpoint why I was sobbing and eating doughnuts but I was. And both were terrible. I laid in bed and told Kevin and the kids I was sick and went to sleep—In fact I was sick! I was sick of this day, I was sick of the crying, I was sick of sucking at my job today and I was sick of these three doughnuts I just devoured…how am I supposed to coach health and fitness, I thought, I just ate a case of doughnuts??? I was at my wits end – wanted to just throw in the towel and quit………but guess what? I woke up the next day with a mind that I was going to CONQUER THE WORLD!!! I did too- I had my mind set that no more pouting about a few bad choices and a few bad moments….pick it up and start again!
It is totally OK to have a bad day guys! Totally ok to wonder if you are doing the right thing– totally ok to self doubt once in a while —–TOTALLY OK….in fact I think it makes me want to go harder strive harder work harder to make it even better than it was before. Woke up- ran 16 miles…….came home took kids to church….. made an amazing lunch……. Chatted it out with my unhappy customer making it better……connected with some of my challenge peeps and then found out I moved up a level in my coaching status!! Wooohooo… See as quick as it can come down it can just as easily be picked back up again!
We all have bad days that we doubt what we are doing is right or if we are good at it or if others think we are good—but in fact WE ARE GOOD! We are—even on our days we question our talents….we are still good. It is actually a blessing that we have bad days because it makes the good days SO SO MUCH more rewarding. It makes us strive for more and work to be better …..And for me it puts the KICK IN MY BUTT that I need to push myself even harder on the path of success.!